Happy St. Urho's Day

St. Urho was a hermit who lived in Finland in the Dark Ages. When a plague of locusts threatened the grape crops of Finland, and the destruction of Finnish wine production. The saint was appealed to by the Finnish vintners, and he went to the top of a mountain looking down on the main area of viniculture. There he prayed day and night, then took a pitchfork and went down to the valley, chanting his holy chant, "Heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, mene täältä hiiteen," loosely translated as "Locusts, locusts, go to h3ll." A strong wind suddenly came up and blew the whole swarm out into the Gulf of Bothnia.

Ever since then, March 16 has been St. Urho Day. People drink Finnish wine and sing Finnish songs. They wear purple and green to remind themselves of the grapes and the vines saved by the holy hermit. If they can't find Finnish wine, they drink beer with purple food coloring in it.

Of course, there are certain problems . . .

Grape vines have never thrived in Finland.

There have never been swarms of locusts in Finland.

Since there were no grape vines, there could have been no vintners.

And finally, there is no record of St. Urho in any Finnish manuscripts of the time.

In fact, the earliest mention of this saint was in northern Minnesota, by a learned loremaster named Richard Mattson, who was also a manager of Kotala's Department Store in Virginia, MN, who used this historical personage as an excuse for a sale and a party.

So if you want to start celebrating St. Patrick's Day a little early, here is a great excuse.

All together now:
"Heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, mene täältä hiiteen"
"Heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, mene täältä hiiteen"
"Heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, mene täältä hiiteen"